Google’s image search isn’t a tool—it’s a goddamn digital hit squad, rigged to polish the turds of Democrats while hurling…
Year: 2025
Shri Thanedar’s Glittering Tantrum: Dems’ Mint-flavored Indian Lapdog Begs Kristi Noem to Quit While Plotting to Flood $h*thole Cities with More $h*thole Imports
Washington, D.C. – Today’s House Homeland Security Committee hearing on “Worldwide Threats to the Homeland” was supposed to spotlight real…
Ilhan Omar: The Smiling Serpent in the Halls of Power – Minnesota’s Embodiment of Satan – Its Not a Joke.
Ilhan Omar’s calm expression often comes across as eerie, like the serene facade of Satan in stories where he hides…
Jasmine Crockett’s Will Lose Senate Run: A Dallas Firecracker About to Get Extinguished in the Texas Sky.
On December 8, 2025, exactly one hour before the filing deadline, Rep. Jasmine Crockett lit the fuse: she’s running for…
Why Did Axe Stop Making the Bamboo Fragrance? A Classic Case of Corporate Shelf Life
Axe’s “Wild Bamboo” body spray (often just called Bamboo) was a fan favorite for many. It was fresh, invigorating, and…
What Happened to AI Song Creator SONGER? Why Did It Fall From Free-Flying Fun to Credit-Crunching Grift?
Songer.co launched in early 2024 as a breath of fresh AI air in music creation—super simple, with unlimited free 60-second…
Shri Thanedar: The Discount Liberace Clown Show – How Does This Wigged-Out Weirdo Even Get Votes?
Oh boy, here we go again with the circus act in Congress. Democrat Shri Thanedar, that walking punchline from Michigan,…
SUCK IT, LIBS: Tennessee Just Kicked Aftyn Behn’s Carpetbagger Ass to the Curb
Tennessee just told Aftyn Behn and every woke transplant who voted for her to go f**k themselves. Loudly. Republican Van…
Shark Bait: No Trials, No Tears – Sinking Venezuela’s Narco Scum and Silencing Sniveling Libs Who Whine “War Crimes”
Shark Bait Justice: Let the sharks do the “war crimes” clean up. Pacific Ocean, 300 miles off Costa Rica. Four…
Mark Kelly: Bug-Eyed,Bald, Weasel, Uncle Fester, Marty Feldman-Looking Traitor Screaming “War Crimes” to Save His Own Ass
Mark Kelly looks like Marty Feldman did on a bad day. Those googly eyes, that nervous twitch, the way he…
Kristi Noem: Homeland Security or Homeland Salon? STOP WITH THE HAIR AND MAKEUP!
Kristi Noem: Secretary of Hair & Homeland – THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH LOOKING LIKE A PRETTY LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER…
Neil deGrasse Tyson: America’s Favorite Astro-Grifter
From Forgotten Galactic-Bulge Paperboy to Full-Time Cosmos Hustler Who Hasn’t Done Any Real Science Since the Clinton Administration Neil deGrasse…
Temu-Traitor Mark Kelly Whines on Kimmel’s Lap While Begging Troops to Mutiny – Cry Harder, Saboteur
Oh, for fuck’s sake, here we go again with Mark Kelly, that sheen-headed astronaut-turned-senator hack, strutting onto Jimmy Kimmel like…
Burned Alive by Judicial Lunacy: Sick Judges Playing God While Bethany MaGee Fights for Her Charred Life
Let’s get one thing straight from the jump: Bethany MaGee, a 26-year-old woman just trying to ride the CTA Blue…
Saint James Comey the Slime: How the 7-Foot Psycho Beat the Rap on a Technicality and Still Plays Victim
Enjoy Your Loophole, You Leaking, Lying, Never-Trump Piece of Shit Saint Comey the Slime: How the 7-Foot Psycho Beat the…
“George Clooney’s 1997 Diana Quote: The Day a TV Doctor Demanded Death’s Manager Speak to Him Personally and Accidentally Invented Terminal Hollywood Cringe”
George Clooney, 1997: still rocking the ER Caesar cut, zero Oscar statues, and somehow convinced the planet needed his diplomatic…
The Dismissal of Cases Against James Comey and Letitia James: A Look at Judicial Bias or Legal Procedure?
In plain terms, let’s talk about what happened on November 24, 2025, when a federal judge tossed out criminal charges…
Democrat Dingbats: The Six Slimy Scumbags Pushing Mutiny and Playing the Victim Card Like Crybabies
These Maniac Morons Are Spitting on Our Troops’ Smarts While Screaming Trump Wants to Hang ‘Em – Total BS from…
Charlie Sheen: The Emperor Who Never Had Clothes
BY: DAIMAN TEER for THE SIMPLETON STAR Let’s get one thing straight: Charlie Sheen is the human equivalent of a…
When Grief Becomes a Partisan Weapon: Tatiana Schlossberg’s Final Essay and a Family’s Misplaced Priorities
NOTE: She is dying, and I would like to cut her as much slack as possible, but the virtue signals…