Kristi Noem: Secretary of Hair & Homeland – THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH LOOKING LIKE A PRETTY LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER…
Year: 2025
Neil deGrasse Tyson: America’s Favorite Astro-Grifter
From Forgotten Galactic-Bulge Paperboy to Full-Time Cosmos Hustler Who Hasn’t Done Any Real Science Since the Clinton Administration Neil deGrasse…
Temu-Traitor Mark Kelly Whines on Kimmel’s Lap While Begging Troops to Mutiny – Cry Harder, Saboteur
Oh, for fuck’s sake, here we go again with Mark Kelly, that sheen-headed astronaut-turned-senator hack, strutting onto Jimmy Kimmel like…
Burned Alive by Judicial Lunacy: Sick Judges Playing God While Bethany MaGee Fights for Her Charred Life
Let’s get one thing straight from the jump: Bethany MaGee, a 26-year-old woman just trying to ride the CTA Blue…
Saint James Comey the Slime: How the 7-Foot Psycho Beat the Rap on a Technicality and Still Plays Victim
Enjoy Your Loophole, You Leaking, Lying, Never-Trump Piece of Shit Saint Comey the Slime: How the 7-Foot Psycho Beat the…
“George Clooney’s 1997 Diana Quote: The Day a TV Doctor Demanded Death’s Manager Speak to Him Personally and Accidentally Invented Terminal Hollywood Cringe”
George Clooney, 1997: still rocking the ER Caesar cut, zero Oscar statues, and somehow convinced the planet needed his diplomatic…
The Dismissal of Cases Against James Comey and Letitia James: A Look at Judicial Bias or Legal Procedure?
In plain terms, let’s talk about what happened on November 24, 2025, when a federal judge tossed out criminal charges…
Democrat Dingbats: The Six Slimy Scumbags Pushing Mutiny and Playing the Victim Card Like Crybabies
These Maniac Morons Are Spitting on Our Troops’ Smarts While Screaming Trump Wants to Hang ‘Em – Total BS from…
Charlie Sheen: The Emperor Who Never Had Clothes
BY: DAIMAN TEER for THE SIMPLETON STAR Let’s get one thing straight: Charlie Sheen is the human equivalent of a…
When Grief Becomes a Partisan Weapon: Tatiana Schlossberg’s Final Essay and a Family’s Misplaced Priorities
NOTE: She is dying, and I would like to cut her as much slack as possible, but the virtue signals…