BY: Daiman Teer for The Simpleton Star
New Jersey is already a punchline for high taxes, corrupt politicians, crumbling roads, and families bolting for the exits. Yet in the 11th Congressional District — one of the state’s wealthier, suburban areas — Democratic primary voters (mostly incredible stupid women who hate men) just crowned Analilia Mejia, a professional progressive activist and Bernie Sanders disciple, as their nominee for the April 16, 2026 special election.
If this doesn’t prove NJ is actively campaigning to wear the crown as America’s all-time premier SHIT HOLE STATE, nothing does.
Mejia, co-executive director of the Center for Popular Democracy, former national political director for Bernie 2020, and Biden Labor Department alum, won the crowded Democratic primary with a pathetic ~29% in a fragmented field. She beat more moderate establishment types like Tom Malinowski. That low bar tells you everything: the activist base is running the show, and sanity is optional.
ALL YOU NEED TO CREATE A HUGE SHITHOLE
While hardworking New Jersey families are fleeing in droves — the state ranked #1 for outbound moves for the eighth straight year in 2025, with a net loss of over 192,000 residents since 2020 — Mejia wants more of the same failed progressive medicine that caused the bleeding.
New Jersey sits at 49th out of 50 on the 2026 Tax Foundation State Tax Competitiveness Index. Highest property taxes in the nation. Near-worst business climate. Corporate tax rate among the highest anywhere. People and companies keep voting with their U-Haul trucks, heading to Florida, Texas, and the Carolinas where you can actually keep what you earn. Yet NJ-11’s voters looked at this disaster and said: “Give us the woman who backed Medicare for All, higher minimum wages, anti-ICE activism, and called actions in Gaza ‘genocide.’”
This is the same district that once sent more pragmatic Democrats. Now it’s flirting with Squad-style politics in suburbs where property taxes crush retirees and businesses pack up. The disconnect is staggering.Mejia didn’t exactly rush to defend her record in front of voters. She dodged multiple in-person debates, including a League of Women Voters forum after demanding “diversity” assurances on moderators. Even some local Democrats rolled their eyes. Her opponent, Randolph’s Joe Hathaway, offered to let her pick the moderators. She still balked. That’s not confidence — that’s contempt for scrutiny.
New Jersey doesn’t need more union organizers and national progressive operatives telling us Jesus was a socialist while our cost of living destroys families. We need leaders obsessed with cutting taxes, fixing infrastructure, making the state business-friendly again, and enforcing immigration laws so resources actually go to citizens first.
Instead, voters in NJ-11 are rewarding the exact ideology that turned the Garden State into a high-tax, low-ROI nightmare. Out-migration isn’t a mystery — it’s math. When you punish success, reward dependency, and prioritize ideology over results, people leave. Businesses leave. Talent leaves. What’s left? A shit hole.This special election isn’t just about one seat. It’s a symptom. New Jersey keeps choosing the accelerator toward decline while screaming about “working families.” Analilia Mejia’s nomination is proof that too many in the state aren’t victims of bad policy – they’re enthusiastic participants in their own self-destruction.
Taxpayers still here: wake up. If you keep nominating and electing people like this, don’t cry when New Jersey officially claims the title of America’s biggest, most expensive, most dysfunctional shit hole state in history. You begged for it.
Bible Verse
“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their shithole land.”2 Chronicles 7:14
Why I Chose This Verse
I picked it because New Jersey is not suffering from bad luck — it is suffering from bad choices. We have turned from common-sense principles, embraced radical ideology, and now act shocked that our state is bleeding residents, businesses, and hope. This verse is God’s clear promise: healing only comes when we humble ourselves, repent of the foolish path we’re on, and turn back to what works. Nominating activists like Analilia Mejia is the opposite of turning from wicked ways. It is proudly accelerating them. If New Jersey wants healing instead of becoming the all-time shit hole state, we must turn.
LET US PRAY — and no – Jesus was not a socialist, you nitwit.
Heavenly Father, we come before You as citizens of a state that is destroying itself through pride and foolishness. Forgive us for electing leaders who love ideology more than people, who tax us to death while our families flee. Raise up righteous men and women who fear You and love truth. Give the voters of New Jersey-11 and this entire state eyes to see and ears to hear before it is too late. Heal our land, Lord. Turn our hearts back to You. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.
