Washington, D.C. – Today’s House Homeland Security Committee hearing on “Worldwide Threats to the Homeland” was supposed to spotlight real…
Category: General Simpleness
Ilhan Omar: The Smiling Serpent in the Halls of Power – Minnesota’s Embodiment of Satan – Its Not a Joke.
Ilhan Omar’s calm expression often comes across as eerie, like the serene facade of Satan in stories where he hides…
Jasmine Crockett’s Will Lose Senate Run: A Dallas Firecracker About to Get Extinguished in the Texas Sky.
On December 8, 2025, exactly one hour before the filing deadline, Rep. Jasmine Crockett lit the fuse: she’s running for…
Why Did Axe Stop Making the Bamboo Fragrance? A Classic Case of Corporate Shelf Life
Axe’s “Wild Bamboo” body spray (often just called Bamboo) was a fan favorite for many. It was fresh, invigorating, and…
What Happened to AI Song Creator SONGER? Why Did It Fall From Free-Flying Fun to Credit-Crunching Grift?
Songer.co launched in early 2024 as a breath of fresh AI air in music creation—super simple, with unlimited free 60-second…
Shri Thanedar: The Discount Liberace Clown Show – How Does This Wigged-Out Weirdo Even Get Votes?
Oh boy, here we go again with the circus act in Congress. Democrat Shri Thanedar, that walking punchline from Michigan,…
SUCK IT, LIBS: Tennessee Just Kicked Aftyn Behn’s Carpetbagger Ass to the Curb
Tennessee just told Aftyn Behn and every woke transplant who voted for her to go f**k themselves. Loudly. Republican Van…
Shark Bait: No Trials, No Tears – Sinking Venezuela’s Narco Scum and Silencing Sniveling Libs Who Whine “War Crimes”
Shark Bait Justice: Let the sharks do the “war crimes” clean up. Pacific Ocean, 300 miles off Costa Rica. Four…
Mark Kelly: Bug-Eyed,Bald, Weasel, Uncle Fester, Marty Feldman-Looking Traitor Screaming “War Crimes” to Save His Own Ass
Mark Kelly looks like Marty Feldman did on a bad day. Those googly eyes, that nervous twitch, the way he…
Kristi Noem: Homeland Security or Homeland Salon? STOP WITH THE HAIR AND MAKEUP!
Kristi Noem: Secretary of Hair & Homeland – THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH LOOKING LIKE A PRETTY LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER…
Neil deGrasse Tyson: America’s Favorite Astro-Grifter
From Forgotten Galactic-Bulge Paperboy to Full-Time Cosmos Hustler Who Hasn’t Done Any Real Science Since the Clinton Administration Neil deGrasse…
Temu-Traitor Mark Kelly Whines on Kimmel’s Lap While Begging Troops to Mutiny – Cry Harder, Saboteur
Oh, for fuck’s sake, here we go again with Mark Kelly, that sheen-headed astronaut-turned-senator hack, strutting onto Jimmy Kimmel like…
Burned Alive by Judicial Lunacy: Sick Judges Playing God While Bethany MaGee Fights for Her Charred Life
Let’s get one thing straight from the jump: Bethany MaGee, a 26-year-old woman just trying to ride the CTA Blue…
Saint James Comey the Slime: How the 7-Foot Psycho Beat the Rap on a Technicality and Still Plays Victim
Enjoy Your Loophole, You Leaking, Lying, Never-Trump Piece of Shit Saint Comey the Slime: How the 7-Foot Psycho Beat the…
“George Clooney’s 1997 Diana Quote: The Day a TV Doctor Demanded Death’s Manager Speak to Him Personally and Accidentally Invented Terminal Hollywood Cringe”
George Clooney, 1997: still rocking the ER Caesar cut, zero Oscar statues, and somehow convinced the planet needed his diplomatic…
The Dismissal of Cases Against James Comey and Letitia James: A Look at Judicial Bias or Legal Procedure?
In plain terms, let’s talk about what happened on November 24, 2025, when a federal judge tossed out criminal charges…
Democrat Dingbats: The Six Slimy Scumbags Pushing Mutiny and Playing the Victim Card Like Crybabies
These Maniac Morons Are Spitting on Our Troops’ Smarts While Screaming Trump Wants to Hang ‘Em – Total BS from…
Charlie Sheen: The Emperor Who Never Had Clothes
BY: DAIMAN TEER for THE SIMPLETON STAR Let’s get one thing straight: Charlie Sheen is the human equivalent of a…
When Grief Becomes a Partisan Weapon: Tatiana Schlossberg’s Final Essay and a Family’s Misplaced Priorities
NOTE: She is dying, and I would like to cut her as much slack as possible, but the virtue signals…
Marjorie Taylor Greene: When the Left’s “Crazy” Label Turned Out to Be the Only Part They Got Right
Marjorie Taylor Greene’s implosion has handed the Left the most delicious irony of the Trump era. For four years, progressive…