By Daiman Teer [The Simpleton Star]
In the annals of American hubris, few figures strut quite like James Comey—the towering ex-FBI director whose shameless Mussolini smirk has become the stuff of late-night nightmares and early-morning indictments.
Picture him: that self-satisfied grin, all arched eyebrows and pursed lips, as if he’s just orchestrated the fall of Rome from his beachside seashell shrine. It’s not just arrogance; it’s a cocky lunacy that reeks of a man who fancies himself the arbiter of truth while peddling the most devious deceptions.
And now, as federal charges rain down on his parade, it’s high time we call him what he is: a liar in the truest, most treacherous sense—a dangerous charlatan who weaponized the FBI to sabotage Donald Trump and, in the process, nearly unraveled the United States itself.
Let’s rewind to the fever dream of 2016, when Comey’s ego inflated like a rogue weather balloon.
As director of the FBI, he perched atop the law enforcement world, convinced his moral compass was the only one that mattered. On one hand, he torpedoed Hillary Clinton’s campaign with his infamous letter about her emails—reopening an investigation just days before the election, a move even his own allies called reckless. Yet when it came to Trump, Comey didn’t hesitate to launch “Crossfire Hurricane,” a probe into alleged Russian ties that was less investigation and more inquisition. He personally requested dirt on Trump campaign adviser Carter Page, elevating flimsy “connections” to top-priority threats, all while ignoring glaring warnings that the whole mess stemmed from a Clinton camp smear job.
Hubris? This was hubris on steroids, a one-man show where Comey cast himself as the noble guardian, scripting the narrative to kneecap a duly elected president. But the real lunacy unfolded in the Oval Office, where Comey’s memos reveal a man documenting every whisper like a spurned lover.
Trump, fresh off firing National Security Adviser Michael Flynn for lying about Russian contacts, urged Comey to “let this go” on the Flynn probe—a request Comey twisted into obstruction of justice faster than you can say “loyalty pledge.”
Refusing Trump’s ask for allegiance (as if the President were auditioning for The Godfather), Comey didn’t just document it; he leaked it. That’s right: the self-proclaimed ethics crusader authorized FBI leaks to the press about the very investigations he swore to protect, all to trigger a special counsel and keep the Russia hoax churning.
In congressional testimony, he baldly lied, claiming he’d never greenlit anonymous sources to reporters on the Trump or Clinton probes—a whopper so egregious it’s now the basis of his fresh indictment for false statements and obstruction.
Devious? Comey didn’t just bend the truth; he snapped it in half and used the pieces to build his martyr complex. This wasn’t mere incompetence; it was a calculated assault on democracy’s foundations. Comey’s Russia obsession cost taxpayers over $32 million in the Mueller probe alone, a “witch hunt” that smeared Trump as a Russian asset while exonerating the real colluders in Clinton’s orbit.
He turned the FBI into a partisan battering ram, treating Trump’s campaign with kid gloves off while giving Clinton’s email felonies a velvet glove. And let’s not forget his post-firing antics: penning a bestseller dripping with disdain for Trump’s “orange” hue and tiny hands, all while posing cryptic seashell threats on social media—”86 47,” a not-so-subtle nod to ditching the 47th president, which even the Secret Service couldn’t ignore. These are things only a maniacally insane mind could conjure.
Cocky lunacy indeed, the kind that makes you wonder if Comey sees himself as America’s Il Duce, rallying the deep state faithful with that infuriating smirk.
The danger here transcends one man’s ego; it’s a blueprint for how unelected bureaucrats can hijack elections and erode trust in institutions. Comey didn’t just try to ruin Trump—he endangered the USA by politicizing the premier law enforcement agency, fostering division that lingers like a bad hangover. Trump’s firing of him in 2017? Not obstruction, but self-preservation.
And now, with indictments unsealed in Virginia’s Eastern District—rushed under Trump’s pressure but rooted in irrefutable evidence of perjury—justice is finally circling back.
No more hiding behind memoirs or moral lectures; Comey’s lies have a statute of limitations, and it’s expiring faster than his relevance.So here’s to Comey, the liar who mistook his reflection for the Constitution. May his trial strip away that Mussolini smirk and expose the hollow man beneath. America dodged a bullet once; let’s ensure men like him never reload.
