Simpletons on Facebook Swallow Another Whopper: Elon Musk and Pals to Bankroll Charlie Kirk’s Kids’ Education?
Oh, Facebook, you glorious cesspool of human gullibility. The platform where your uncle shares Minion memes and your high school ex peddles essential oils is at it again, churning out fake stories faster than a conspiracy theorist’s Reddit thread.
The latest? A viral post claiming that Elon Musk, along with a parade of other A-listers, has vowed to pay for the education of Charlie Kirk’s children in the aftermath of Kirk’s horrible assassination.
Please, hands praying to God, make the simpletons stop! Charlie Kirk’s kids are left without a father because of some maniac. Why do you add insult to injury with your dumbness?
Let’s dissect this idiocy with the glee of a tabloid editor on a slow news day.
First, the story: a poorly edited graphic circulating on Facebook claims that Musk, joined by luminaries like Mark Zuckerberg, Beyoncé, and—wait for it—Dr. Phil, have formed a billionaire pact to fund the college tuition of Kirk’s kids. Never mind that Musk and Zuckerberg would rather arm-wrestle over Mars real estate than co-sign a charity check, none of this is true. No one has come forward making such a claim. Not any country western singer or any Hollywood actor and anyone. It’s all fake, dammit !!!
The irony attached to the Zuckerberg fake claim is that it’s Zuckerberg himself who turns a buck off of these fake stories which he now publishes on the pages of Facebook for a fee. Hasn’t anyone noticed? Didn’t these imbeciles learn from the all the fake Connie Francis funeral stories?
Sadly, the simpletons don’t fact-check; they just hit “share” with the fervor of a toddler smearing frosting or helping mom with Shake N Bake chicken. They put up praying hands — “Prayers being sent” — and assume it all went well.
“God bless Elon for supporting real Americans!” gushes some lady from Bradenton, Florida who has her black and white hair styled like a skunk posing for 1990s shopping mall glamor photo.
So, here’s to the simpletons, bless their hearts, sharing this garbage while the rest of us laugh. Maybe one day they’ll learn to Google before they grovel. Until then, keep scrolling, Karen. There’s another fake story waiting.
