By: Daiman Teer for The Simpleton Star
Representative Melanie “birdbrain” Stansbury has recently decided to play doctor, or perhaps God, by joining Jamie “spray on hair” Raskin in a frantic quest to introduce a 25th Amendment bill. The goal? To create a bipartisan commission that will determine if the President is “fit to serve.” It is a charmingly delusional pursuit, mainly because it demonstrates that Stansbury possesses the civic comprehension of a garden gnome.
For a sitting member of Congress to broadcast such a fundamental misunderstanding of the Constitution isn’t just embarrassing; it’s a disqualifying display of incompetence. How do these people find their way to the Capitol in the morning without a GPS and a handler? To suggest that Congress has the power to manifest a “commission” to poke and prod the Commander-in-Chief is the political equivalent of a tenant trying to evict the landlord because they don’t like the color of his tie.
The 25th Amendment is a high-stakes, internal surgical strike. It was designed to be triggered by the Vice President and the Cabinet—the people who actually see the President without the stage makeup. It is an Executive branch mechanism, built to handle true incapacitation, not to provide a legislative bypass for a gaggle of representatives who are upset that their preferred candidate didn’t win or that the current guy is stuttering at a podium.
By attempting to inject a “commission” into this process, Stansbury isn’t defending the Republic. She is attempting to rewrite the foundational rules of the government because she finds the actual law inconvenient. It is the ultimate “Simpleton” move: if you can’t win the game, try to fire the referee and replace him with a committee of your own friends.
The sheer arrogance required to believe that a group of partisan lawmakers—people who can’t even agree on a budget or a lunch menu—should be empowered to medically evaluate the leader of the free world is breathtaking. Stansbury is essentially trying to sell the public a bridge she doesn’t own, using a deed she forged in a fit of legislative pique.
If we are going to entertain the conversation of who is “fit to serve,” let’s start with the lady from New Mexico. Fitness for office should, at the very least, require a basic understanding of the office’s level of authority and purpose. You cannot claim to be a guardian of the law when you are actively trying to subvert it with a press release and a dream.
The 25th Amendment is a serious, somber legal instrument intended for national emergencies. It is not a plaything for a Friday afternoon Twitter thread. Stansbury’s proposal is a performance for the cameras, a bit of desperate political theater meant to stir up a base that is just as biblically illiterate regarding the Constitution as she is.
In a world that functioned with even a modicum of logic, this bill would be laughed out of the room. Instead, we are forced to watch as a “professional” lawmaker uses her platform to demonstrate that she hasn’t cracked a history book since the eighth grade. If Stansbury wants to diagnose someone with a lack of mental or physical fitness, she should start by looking in a mirror. The symptoms of acute constitutional ignorance are written all over her face.
The American public doesn’t need a bipartisan commission to tell them who is fit to lead. They need a Congress that knows its place, understands its limitations, and stops trying to use the medicalization of politics as a tool for a soft coup. Until then, we are left with the likes of Melanie Stansbury: a dunce of a woman holding an office she doesn’t understand, pushing a bill she can’t enforce, for a purpose she can’t justify. It’s not just a tragedy; it’s a farce.
The Verse
“Do you see a person wise in their own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for them.” > (Proverbs 26:12)
The Reason
This verse is the ultimate “stay in your lane” warning. It perfectly targets the specific brand of arrogance exhibited by Stansbury and Raskin. It isn’t just saying they’re wrong; it’s saying they’re unteachable. Their greatest sin isn’t their lack of knowledge—it’s the fact that they are so convinced of their own brilliance that they’ve become more hopeless than a common fool. They’ve mistaken their own reflection for a burning bush.
The Prayer
Dear Lord,
We come to You today with a heavy heart for the halls of our Capitol, which seem to be increasingly occupied by those who have traded their maps for mirrors.
We lift up Melanie Stansbury and Jamie Raskin. We ask that You grant them a sudden and overwhelming dose of humility. We pray that You would clear the fog of self-importance that allows them to believe they can rewrite the laws of the land to suit the whims of the hour.
Lord, deliver them from the delusion that they are the arbiters of fitness and the judges of souls. Grant them the wisdom to understand the limits of their own authority, and the grace to stop confusing their own political ambitions with Divine or Constitutional mandates.
If they cannot find the path to truth, we ask that You at least find them a copy of the Constitution and a quiet corner where they can read it in peace—far away from a microphone.
Amen.
